Down but not out...

Wow. The last 24 hours has been quite a roller coaster.

Personally, I had to deal with the second to last step of my insane drama yesterday. I think it will be coming to an end any day now. I'm not happy with the impending result but it's far from worst case scenario. We shall see...

Professionally, 2 nights ago I had arguably the worst night of my career. I was pretty crestfallen. I've never quite dealt with this type of people before. Anyway, I got absolutely berated by a total of 3 people in a 6 hour time frame and it hit me pretty hard.

But as I have said here several times.; If 2012 consists of 1 bad day a month, it's less in a year than it was in a single month last year. I'll take it.

Amazingly, today was quite a bounce back. I had a long, but great, day at work and feel like I may have turned a corner. There are a LOT of directions that this can all go, but the outlook is far more positive than it was 24 hours ago.

It just goes to show You never know what'll happen tomorrow. That's why you never give in to negativity... No matter how hard it hits you.

A Pirate Looks at 40

A Pirate Looks at Forty Lyrics Performed by Jimmy Buffett
1974




Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call
Wanted to sail upon your waters since I was three feet tall
You've seen it all, you've seen it all

Watched the men who rode you switch from sails to steam
And in your belly you hold the treasures few have ever seen
Most of 'em dream, most of 'em dream

Yes I am a pirate, two hundred years too late
The cannons don't thunder, there's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late

I've done a bit of smugglin', I've run my share of grass
I made enough money to buy Miami, but I pissed it away so fast
Never meant to last, never meant to last

And I have been drunk now for over two weeks
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks
But I got stop wishin', got to go fishin'
Down to rock bottom again
Just a few friends, just a few friends

I go for younger women, lived with several awhile
Though I ran 'em away, they'd come back one day
Still could manage to smile
Just takes a while, just takes a while

Mother, mother ocean, after all the years I've found
My occupational hazard being my occupation's just not around
I feel like I've drowned, gonna head uptown

I feel like I've drowned, gonna head uptown

The old and the beautiful

Well I made it... I'm 40. Can't believe it. I had a great birthday.

Some obnoxious friends on Facebook made it special. Got a few cool things from friends (and divas) including wine and other assorted goodies and had a phenomenal dinner at Dante's with my ex and even had a little surprise drink sent from my sister in Orlando. All in all it was a pretty awesome day.

So thank you to everyone that helped make the day special and the first 40 years... Unique.

Here's to another 40 or so ahead.... Bring it on baby.

4D

So here it is.... My final night as a 30 something.

First let me say... I can not believe its 2012 and I am turning 40... That's INSANE to try to wrap my brain around.

One of the things about being a sarcastic bastard is that when big things like a 40th birthday come up... You get a LOT of grief. I know, I know!! It's my bed.... I'm lying here.

It's actually kind of exciting. Quality time at the chiropractor that will make my life MISERABLE... Dinner plans at one of my favorite restaurants.

All I ever hear about is how 40 is the ideal time in your life because you know more about the way the world works, you still feel good and can take on new projects... We shall see.

As of right now, I feel like a retired racehorse... Glue.

G Free Me....

So, it has been way too long since I posted on here. I am forcing myself to sit down to update this now so, here I go.

Things have been pretty good Actually A LOT has happened. The gluten withdrawls were way more hardcore than I ever imagined they would be.

Finding quality food was pretty difficult at first but I have found quite a few good things. Basically, I'm SOL on bread. But I have found a great pasta made out of corn (Pasta D'Oro) and whole foods has a few good pie and pizza crusts.

Although it was hard at first, the benefits were almost instant. I have lost 8lbs the last I checked.

That can't be a bad thing...

I am allergic to life...

Finally got my test results and I am allergic to everything I eat and I eat nothing I'm not allergic to.

Today was my first gluten free and dairy free day. It's going to be a real challenge. Yet I'm hoping to see a dramatic improvement quickly.

We shall see...

Earned Interest

I constantly marvel at how I lost control of the respect of friends last year. On occasion, I still have some people attempt to do it to me this year. Most have learned quickly, that it tends to have far greater consequences these days.

I've always been sensitive when it comes to respect in romantic and business relationships and friendships. Mostly because I have, in the past, tended to give it without having friends, family, coworkers, etc. actually earn it. On at least 20 occasions, it has come back to bite me. Moreover, I spent a great deal of my own time attempting to prove myself to people. Most of whom, in retrospect, are not worthy of my time.

All if this is part of the massive insecurity I have tackled this year and more than a little bit responsible for it altogether.

Many of the people in my life passed unnecessary and certainly inaccurate judgement on me last year. Many people decided that they could enter and exit my life on their own terms and in their own time frame without any regard for the affect it had on me. They also, absolutely assumed and expected for me to be there when they are ready to do so. Like a fool, I always was!

I had given every excuse from the ages of my friends, to their personal struggles getting in the way of their thought processes and consideration to my feelings. But the reality is, I am the one that allowed the disrespect to happen.

So pretty much on a daily basis now, I think of how many people exited my life for good and didn't know it because I decided they didn't need to return.

Nothing in particular happened today to spark this. Actually, a few things happened more than a week ago. But beyond the shadow of a doubt today is the day that I've decided to say it.

I have to say acquaintances are completely different. I'm speaking particularly of people that were a part of my daily life that simply disappeared without warning or reason. Then came back and expected me to be there and pick right back up like they never left.

If we are friends, we are friends all the time. Friends are people that are there for one another.

If dating someone, work, school, family, other friends or personal crisis means that we don't speak for 2, 3 or 6 months, then my work philosophy kicks in...

"If we haven't used it in the last six months, we simply don't need whatever it is... Throw it away!"