He was a king 'til she laid waste now he can not fill up the space and I just see him drifting while he's drifting
on bourbon alley, feeling low just because she let him go I don't think he even knows he'll ever be fine
And he's got a head full of ideas
let me tell ya, that you wouldn't believe
and he's got a heart made of pure gold
and something else, many tricks up his sleeve you might think he's a jester
because he'll make you laugh til' you cry and what else, you better come with your best if you test him, unless you're ready to die
Wonder woman got rid of wonder man
that man's not part of your wonder plan letter to the so called better bet on my man believe it you will find out baby, damn
Head full of ideas let me tell ya, that you wouldn't believe and he's got a heart made of pure gold and something else, so many tricks up his sleeve you might think he's a jester because he'll make you laugh til' you cry and what else, you better come with your best if you test him, unless you're ready to die
A million people come and go through a persons ebb and flow and faces keep on changing while there changing a certain few will stay in tact when they're not they'll don an act I know this important fact don't get confused like
And he's got a head full of ideas let me tell ya, that you wouldn't believe and he's got a heart made of pure gold and something else, so many tricks up his sleeve you might think he's a jester because he'll make you laugh til' you cry and what else, you better come with your best if you test him, unless you're ready to die
First you love him then your loving him not all the while he just smiles, giving all that he's got do you find it in your heart to say he's not what you sought do you want me to continue with this, or what?
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
My name is Dave... And I am a dramaholic.
Hi Dave!!!
I often refer to myself as a recovering dramaholic. It's amazing but you truly don't realize it when you're in it. Even more frighteningly, I have relapsed a couple of times since my divorce. Dating two girls that weren't born when I graduated high school probably didn't help much. But I digress!
The reality is there's a subliminal high that you get from the drama. The problem is that it causes this spiral that is really difficult to cut yourself loose from.
But I have. This time I truly hope for good. I mean, I still get caught up a little. Everyone does. But I won't allow it to rule my life.
It's amazing. My ex-wife and I hit the ground running when we got married. We started a record label, had a regional hit record, had a huge wedding, bought a BMW, went to St Thomas, bought TWO houses and a baby grand piano all in the first year of our marriage. The drama was intoxicating and it never went away in seven years. We owned 4 houses about 9 cars, went all over the US and owned three businesses. That was until I was out of the house for 6 months training with Red Robin all around Atlanta. Then the drama was over... As was the marriage.
Two more failed relationships later and, at long last, I genuinely enjoy the time that I get to myself and the lack of something "exciting" going on in my world.
So I still have big goals. I still have ambitions. I still have dreams of a great relationship and maybe even starting a family. Nonetheless, I am going to do it without the drama. Believe it or not, that may mean sucking it up and dating a grownup.
The best part of being in recovery is that it has become increasingly easy to identify in both myself and others. I can hear a story from a friend and, in my head (often aloud as well), I will say "wow... too much drama for me". I have also gotten pretty good at hanging up the phone or leaving the conversation when it happens.
So, do I think that it's a permanent recovery? Well if I'm honest, probably not.
It's like any other addiction... Day by day. Today... Was a good day.
I often refer to myself as a recovering dramaholic. It's amazing but you truly don't realize it when you're in it. Even more frighteningly, I have relapsed a couple of times since my divorce. Dating two girls that weren't born when I graduated high school probably didn't help much. But I digress!
The reality is there's a subliminal high that you get from the drama. The problem is that it causes this spiral that is really difficult to cut yourself loose from.
But I have. This time I truly hope for good. I mean, I still get caught up a little. Everyone does. But I won't allow it to rule my life.
It's amazing. My ex-wife and I hit the ground running when we got married. We started a record label, had a regional hit record, had a huge wedding, bought a BMW, went to St Thomas, bought TWO houses and a baby grand piano all in the first year of our marriage. The drama was intoxicating and it never went away in seven years. We owned 4 houses about 9 cars, went all over the US and owned three businesses. That was until I was out of the house for 6 months training with Red Robin all around Atlanta. Then the drama was over... As was the marriage.
Two more failed relationships later and, at long last, I genuinely enjoy the time that I get to myself and the lack of something "exciting" going on in my world.
So I still have big goals. I still have ambitions. I still have dreams of a great relationship and maybe even starting a family. Nonetheless, I am going to do it without the drama. Believe it or not, that may mean sucking it up and dating a grownup.
The best part of being in recovery is that it has become increasingly easy to identify in both myself and others. I can hear a story from a friend and, in my head (often aloud as well), I will say "wow... too much drama for me". I have also gotten pretty good at hanging up the phone or leaving the conversation when it happens.
So, do I think that it's a permanent recovery? Well if I'm honest, probably not.
It's like any other addiction... Day by day. Today... Was a good day.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
No Mas Mierda
The interesting thing about the term "baggage" is that it's overused, but tremendously accurate. Essentially the issue that I'm dealing with at the moment is how many issues I have been addressing lately. My life isn't like a credit report at this point. There is no printable list of what's worth dealing with, what's worth contesting and what isn't worth anything at all.
As each day goes by, I seem to think of someone or something that has wronged me in my life. Perhaps it's just a part of the purging process but it's disturbing to know that I have... dated criminals, worked for criminals, known and befriended people who have devastated my life, hurt me and the things I love and, perhaps worst of all, never truly forgiven them or myself for allowing it. I actually considered trying to list the ones that have come to mind recently here but decided that reliving it yet again would be counterproductive.
I had a slogan at my last job. It was posted where the employees could see it each day. It said "No Mas Mierda"... Spanish for "No More Shit". We then began throwing away all unnecessary junk in the restaurant. (3 year old paperwork, broken equipment, nonproductive people, etc.) We absolutely streamlined the entire operation.
So I guess the point here is I have already gotten rid of most of the material items I have held for years (some for decades) in 2012. Now I need to do it for the emotional items.
The next person I date, the current employer for which I work, and the people whom I can currently call friends are in for a treat. They know, or are meeting, a 39 year old guy that hopefully will only be holding a "carry on".
It's 2012... No mas mierda!
As each day goes by, I seem to think of someone or something that has wronged me in my life. Perhaps it's just a part of the purging process but it's disturbing to know that I have... dated criminals, worked for criminals, known and befriended people who have devastated my life, hurt me and the things I love and, perhaps worst of all, never truly forgiven them or myself for allowing it. I actually considered trying to list the ones that have come to mind recently here but decided that reliving it yet again would be counterproductive.
I had a slogan at my last job. It was posted where the employees could see it each day. It said "No Mas Mierda"... Spanish for "No More Shit". We then began throwing away all unnecessary junk in the restaurant. (3 year old paperwork, broken equipment, nonproductive people, etc.) We absolutely streamlined the entire operation.
So I guess the point here is I have already gotten rid of most of the material items I have held for years (some for decades) in 2012. Now I need to do it for the emotional items.
The next person I date, the current employer for which I work, and the people whom I can currently call friends are in for a treat. They know, or are meeting, a 39 year old guy that hopefully will only be holding a "carry on".
It's 2012... No mas mierda!
Post pre mid-life crisis
I think I'm officially over the whole "turning 40" thing. I've proven to myself that I'm not "dead" and can still have just about anything I want if I stay focused. That said, as I'm building my new foundation, I am choosing the things that I want without the input of anyone else. It's rewarding and more than a little exciting. My emotional state is better than it has been in years. Financially, I'm growing quickly and consistently. I like the new me.
I FREAKIN WIN!
So apparently telling my side of the story was a good thing. I won my appeal. I will be getting about $2500 in the coming days that will allow me to be on top of my debt by my next paycheck.
It was rewarding. This was something I fought hard for. Last year I had constant attacks on my character from several different sources. Fighting back has been a long arduous journey. That was a colossal step. More interestingly, the fact that I have had so many people tell me that they are proud of me for sticking with it, has meant everything to me. I guess it showed some tenacity along with character. I just wasn't letting them get away with it. Yay me.
It was rewarding. This was something I fought hard for. Last year I had constant attacks on my character from several different sources. Fighting back has been a long arduous journey. That was a colossal step. More interestingly, the fact that I have had so many people tell me that they are proud of me for sticking with it, has meant everything to me. I guess it showed some tenacity along with character. I just wasn't letting them get away with it. Yay me.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
My side of the story
Today was a good day. I got to tell my side of the story. Regardless of whether I was successful and will benefit financially, I stuck to it. I didn't let them get away with slandering my name. I'm proud of myself no matter what the outcome... But I sure could use the money!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Tomorrow
Big day tomorrow. Biggest of 2012. Gonna let me know exactly how quickly I'm going to get on top of things financially. Then I have to work all day and I think I'm getting sick. Today was a good one. I'm loving this new job. The people are cool. The training is good. All the way around, 18 days in, 2012 is pretty freakin great... Tomorrow...
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