So today I was asked by my "landlord" if I was considering moving anytime soon (hint hint) because she has a friend in dire straits looking for a place to stay.
It's definitely time for me to make that step up to a better place and I think that it's a good thing. It just kind of came out of nowhere while I was more focused on acquiring a reliable car.
As I have said 100 times, it's 2012 and things are improving at a lightning fast pace.
My biggest concern now is that I don't want to lock myself into a lease for a year because I don't know if my company is going to offer me something somewhere else. I want to be ready if they do.
Like I said, this is a good thing, even if I have absolutely no idea how it'll get done.
But if there is one thing I have learned this year, it's that everything that's happening is benefiting my life, especially when it seems that it is not! :)
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
The Great Uteri Manipulation
Four women that I would consider good friends have spoken to me in the past week, or so, about the (for me) touchy subject of their exes and, as such, I have decided to write about it.
In the interest of full disclosure, these uteri vary in age from 19 to 37. Also, they come from different racial and ethnic backgrounds, religious affiliations and family lives... So, let's take it easy with the canned psychology for a minute.
I won't get into the specifics of each pair. I'll just say that all of their stories follow a very similar path. It is that path that frustrates me for a myriad of reasons.
Each of these women is consistently, and relentlessly, manipulated by an ex that knows how to pull on their heartstrings and make them "dance" their way right back to a guy that has no respect for, or appreciation of, them as a person.
I sit mesmerized by the similarities in their stories. He "called me", "emailed me", "texted me", "stopped by (always just for a minute) because he had something really important to tell me" or (my personal favorite) "posted something on his facebook that really upset me".
I'm not even remotely trying to play "Holier than thou" but I have to say, I really don't get it.
My friends are some of the most beautiful, and interesting, girls in the world inside and out. Yet, somehow, they always seem to have one idiot in their lives, that they've already accepted as inadequate, or otherwise not in their best interest, in the past. An idiot that they've ended a prior relationship with, usually more than once, that persistently nags at their psyche and is able to convince them that he is needed by them because they continuously allow him to do so.
In more than one of these examples, the object of the manipulation perceives this effort as "romantic" or (God forbid) "destiny".
Miraculously, this rare phenomenon usually seems to happen at one of two times. Either, when they are dating, or interested in, someone else and in the "happily ever after" phase of that new relationship, or, when they're genuinely standing on their own two feet for the first time.
What a coincidence!!
So you're finally strong and on your own or, worse yet, when there's a new prince charming in town. Suddenly, the old cast off, that knows your likes and dislikes, is suddenly the guy you always wanted him to be. It boggles my mind.
I have no ulterior motive here. I'm not wanting to, or trying to, date a single one of these lovely ladies. Rather, I see them as genuine friends about which I care greatly. I'm just troubled by their inability to see how they're being wronged.
I was touched by the theme of the movie "Friends with Benefits". I love the idea that you can lose your soulmate because you refused to let go of someone else, see them for who they really are or recognize the real love of your life.
One thing that all of these girls have in common is that they all expect that the only real way to move past their ex, is to have a guy come into their lives that is perfect in every way. he will be a guy who says, and does, all the right things at all the right times. Somehow this guy will need to be prince charming, yet, respect their independence. He will need to sweep them off their feet and, somehow, be 50/50 partners.
Ladies, no one can be all of those things. And why would he try to be that when your ex can simply manipulate you one day, crush your enthusiasm and make you wonder... What if?
If you genuinely want to be happy, you have to realize that your ex is only interested in making himself happy. The easiest way to accomplish that is to keep you from being happy with yourself or someone else.
If he made you happy... He simply wouldn't be your ex... Again.
UPDATE: So AFTER I posted this an ex of mine informed me that she is back together with her ex that slept with her best friend... Haha... Speechless.
In the interest of full disclosure, these uteri vary in age from 19 to 37. Also, they come from different racial and ethnic backgrounds, religious affiliations and family lives... So, let's take it easy with the canned psychology for a minute.
I won't get into the specifics of each pair. I'll just say that all of their stories follow a very similar path. It is that path that frustrates me for a myriad of reasons.
Each of these women is consistently, and relentlessly, manipulated by an ex that knows how to pull on their heartstrings and make them "dance" their way right back to a guy that has no respect for, or appreciation of, them as a person.
I sit mesmerized by the similarities in their stories. He "called me", "emailed me", "texted me", "stopped by (always just for a minute) because he had something really important to tell me" or (my personal favorite) "posted something on his facebook that really upset me".
I'm not even remotely trying to play "Holier than thou" but I have to say, I really don't get it.
My friends are some of the most beautiful, and interesting, girls in the world inside and out. Yet, somehow, they always seem to have one idiot in their lives, that they've already accepted as inadequate, or otherwise not in their best interest, in the past. An idiot that they've ended a prior relationship with, usually more than once, that persistently nags at their psyche and is able to convince them that he is needed by them because they continuously allow him to do so.
In more than one of these examples, the object of the manipulation perceives this effort as "romantic" or (God forbid) "destiny".
Miraculously, this rare phenomenon usually seems to happen at one of two times. Either, when they are dating, or interested in, someone else and in the "happily ever after" phase of that new relationship, or, when they're genuinely standing on their own two feet for the first time.
What a coincidence!!
So you're finally strong and on your own or, worse yet, when there's a new prince charming in town. Suddenly, the old cast off, that knows your likes and dislikes, is suddenly the guy you always wanted him to be. It boggles my mind.
I have no ulterior motive here. I'm not wanting to, or trying to, date a single one of these lovely ladies. Rather, I see them as genuine friends about which I care greatly. I'm just troubled by their inability to see how they're being wronged.
I was touched by the theme of the movie "Friends with Benefits". I love the idea that you can lose your soulmate because you refused to let go of someone else, see them for who they really are or recognize the real love of your life.
One thing that all of these girls have in common is that they all expect that the only real way to move past their ex, is to have a guy come into their lives that is perfect in every way. he will be a guy who says, and does, all the right things at all the right times. Somehow this guy will need to be prince charming, yet, respect their independence. He will need to sweep them off their feet and, somehow, be 50/50 partners.
Ladies, no one can be all of those things. And why would he try to be that when your ex can simply manipulate you one day, crush your enthusiasm and make you wonder... What if?
If you genuinely want to be happy, you have to realize that your ex is only interested in making himself happy. The easiest way to accomplish that is to keep you from being happy with yourself or someone else.
If he made you happy... He simply wouldn't be your ex... Again.
UPDATE: So AFTER I posted this an ex of mine informed me that she is back together with her ex that slept with her best friend... Haha... Speechless.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Last day
Ok, I have lots to say but I'm exhausted, so it'll be quick.
Today is my final day of training at Sweet Tomatoes. I got a great cake and a goodbye card from the whole staff. It was really cool.
Final leg of this journey, it's exciting and more than a bit nerve wracking. I'll get into it more tomorrow night.
Just needed to make a note of the day.
Today is my final day of training at Sweet Tomatoes. I got a great cake and a goodbye card from the whole staff. It was really cool.
Final leg of this journey, it's exciting and more than a bit nerve wracking. I'll get into it more tomorrow night.
Just needed to make a note of the day.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
No-Mas-Te Yoga!
Today was my first Namaste Yoga class. I think it killed me. How can something with so little movement pummel me the way, what I can only imagine, a triathlon or a wrecking ball would?!?!
So now I have no choice but to stick it out because, well, I've already infuriated every SINGLE muscle in my body. Since we are no longer speaking, I may as well go all the way with this!
Dont get me wrong, I'm glad I went. I just wasn't expecting it to be that crazy. It looks so peaceful on tv!!!!
At one with the universe, my ass! I was at one with the FLOOR!
I heard I too many fat jokes this week so I decided to take control of the situation. Next time maybe I'll start with walking my dog instead of downward dog.
That's all I got....
So now I have no choice but to stick it out because, well, I've already infuriated every SINGLE muscle in my body. Since we are no longer speaking, I may as well go all the way with this!
Dont get me wrong, I'm glad I went. I just wasn't expecting it to be that crazy. It looks so peaceful on tv!!!!
At one with the universe, my ass! I was at one with the FLOOR!
I heard I too many fat jokes this week so I decided to take control of the situation. Next time maybe I'll start with walking my dog instead of downward dog.
That's all I got....
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Non-Alcoholic Serenity
You know what sucks about the Serenity Prayer? I am sure that it's the part about accepting the things you can not change (which I am told is an important part of the prayer).
A few things have happened in my world this week that, had they happened at any time prior to 2012, would have landed me in some serious hot water.
Not these days. These days, I am working on the acceptance thing. I'm "choosing my battles", "keeping my eye on the prize" or any other Cheezy (there's that word again) cliche that you'd like to insert. But, why?
Personal growth? Not likely.
Getting old? Hope not.
Losing my edge? God forbid.
No. I think it's just that I have come to the realization that, with the exception of this blog ironically, it isn't all about me.
Let that sink in... I, Dave Devito just said that!
Moreover, in order for me to accomplish my personal goals, I have figured out that I have to allow for the fact that other people have their own desires as well. Desires that can directly affect my own life, positively or negatively. The key is to recognize those, quickly, as they happen and react accordingly. Easier said than done.
So allow me to be clear here. I am in no way compromising my integrity, in no way losing my "fight" and in no way giving up on my goals.
Rather, I feel that I'm closer than ever before because I have a clearer understanding of a key aspect of my success... Acceptance of those damned things I can't change....
A few things have happened in my world this week that, had they happened at any time prior to 2012, would have landed me in some serious hot water.
Not these days. These days, I am working on the acceptance thing. I'm "choosing my battles", "keeping my eye on the prize" or any other Cheezy (there's that word again) cliche that you'd like to insert. But, why?
Personal growth? Not likely.
Getting old? Hope not.
Losing my edge? God forbid.
No. I think it's just that I have come to the realization that, with the exception of this blog ironically, it isn't all about me.
Let that sink in... I, Dave Devito just said that!
Moreover, in order for me to accomplish my personal goals, I have figured out that I have to allow for the fact that other people have their own desires as well. Desires that can directly affect my own life, positively or negatively. The key is to recognize those, quickly, as they happen and react accordingly. Easier said than done.
So allow me to be clear here. I am in no way compromising my integrity, in no way losing my "fight" and in no way giving up on my goals.
Rather, I feel that I'm closer than ever before because I have a clearer understanding of a key aspect of my success... Acceptance of those damned things I can't change....
Friday, February 17, 2012
Think & Grow Rich
I'm re-reading Napoleon Hill's "Think and grow rich" (audiobook on my ride to work).
I honestly forgot how inspirational this very old book is. More importantly, I forgot how relevant it is 90+ years later. The references to the depression are relevant in our economy and if you can tolerate the occasional outdated speech, the psychology, emotion and mindset are still incredibly powerful.
There's a story about how his son was born without ears. The chapter details his (Napoleon's) own overwhelming desire not to allow his son to accept his handicap or learn sign language. Rather, his son learns to act and behave like he is a normal part of society and eventually, at 22, is able to hear though a device without any ears or ear canals. Its fascinating and awe inspiring.
Anyone who has visited my extremely humble abode in the past year or so has seen 3 signs that I have posted all around my home:
Desire
Want it as bad as you want to breathe
Act as if...
Desire is from this book. Essentially it is the act of "willing" something to be true.
That's what I do. Part of this transition as a person for me is to fully accept that I am in complete control of my future.
Each day as I drive home, this book, more than any other, reminds me that we hold the power to be and do anything, in our own hands.
Anything truly is possible. Read this book. It'll change your whole way of thinking.
Meanwhile, I'm going to continue to act as if...
I honestly forgot how inspirational this very old book is. More importantly, I forgot how relevant it is 90+ years later. The references to the depression are relevant in our economy and if you can tolerate the occasional outdated speech, the psychology, emotion and mindset are still incredibly powerful.
There's a story about how his son was born without ears. The chapter details his (Napoleon's) own overwhelming desire not to allow his son to accept his handicap or learn sign language. Rather, his son learns to act and behave like he is a normal part of society and eventually, at 22, is able to hear though a device without any ears or ear canals. Its fascinating and awe inspiring.
Anyone who has visited my extremely humble abode in the past year or so has seen 3 signs that I have posted all around my home:
Desire
Want it as bad as you want to breathe
Act as if...
Desire is from this book. Essentially it is the act of "willing" something to be true.
That's what I do. Part of this transition as a person for me is to fully accept that I am in complete control of my future.
Each day as I drive home, this book, more than any other, reminds me that we hold the power to be and do anything, in our own hands.
Anything truly is possible. Read this book. It'll change your whole way of thinking.
Meanwhile, I'm going to continue to act as if...
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Whole lotta nothin...
It feels like all I do is work lately. This is gonna be short but I wanted to make a quick note. Because a lot has happened.
Made it through the stupidest holiday of the year. One more peak climbed.
Found out more info about work. Need to train 2 more weeks to be certified for GM. That's promising. Til then, good salary, good job and lots of time to do other things beside work.
More healing. Spoke to my ex-wife for an hour yesterday. Good talk. We both got a chance to patch up some serious misconceptions about a time where chaos ruled.
Made it through the stupidest holiday of the year. One more peak climbed.
Found out more info about work. Need to train 2 more weeks to be certified for GM. That's promising. Til then, good salary, good job and lots of time to do other things beside work.
More healing. Spoke to my ex-wife for an hour yesterday. Good talk. We both got a chance to patch up some serious misconceptions about a time where chaos ruled.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)