Walk ~ Foo Fighters

A million miles away
Your signal in the distance
To whom it may concern
I think I lost my way
Getting good at starting over
Every time that I return

I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough?
Where do I begin?

Do you remember the days
We built these paper mountains
And sat and watched them burn?
I think I found my place
Can't you feel it growing stronger?
Little conquerors

I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?

Now
For the very first time
Don't you pay no mind?
Set me free again
You keep alive a moment at a time
But still inside a whisper to a liar
To sacrifice but knowing to survive
The first decline another state of mind
I'm on my knees, I'm praying for a sign
Forever, whenever
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I'm on my knees
I never wanna die
I'm dancing on my grave
I'm running through the fire
Forever, whatever
I never wanna die
I never wanna leave
I'll never say goodbye
Forever, whatever
Forever, whatever

I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough?
Where do I begin?

I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough?

Grammys

Watched the Grammys tonight. They were really good. I started out calling them the Whitney's. Thankfully, that slowed down.

So, except for Swiffers, in no particular order, here are my thoughts:

Taylor Swift is... Perfect.

Gwyneth Paltrow is still beautiful. Beach Boys still doing it and Paul McCartney's Valentine song is fantastic.. Typical Sir Paul.
Me AND Ladies Love Cool James. (which would make him MALL Cool J). That was a very smart joke ^^
Glenn Campbell was awesome, though kinda sad.
The FOO fighters are spectacular. It's like 10 years later but I'm finally on board. (the song "Walk" put me over)


All in all. Impressive performance. It's a shame Madonna wasn't there to ruin it.

Told you I was the sweetest guy

Got my blood work back. Surprise to NO ONE who has ever met me, I have elevated cholesterol. If you've ever eaten my fettuccine Alfredo, so do you!

But this one did come as a surprise...

I have (slightly) elevated blood sugar. See how sweet I am? Inside out, right? Amazing, finally tangible, measurable proof of my sweetness.

Anyway, now my main focus is unsweeting myself. I know to all of my contemporaries this may come as a shock. You're likely to think "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! not your sweetness!" but yes, I have little choice.

So, now the second massive transition in my adult life is on... First, years ago, coke was out.... sweet tea was in... In phase 2, sweet tea is out.

Replacing that is even more of a challenge. Right now the semifinalists are as follows;

A. The long shot rookie from sweet tomatoes... Unsweetened pomegranate tea...

B. My newest friend light lemonade by minute made. No extra sweeteners

C. This is the "Joey Chestnut" option. You hope it won't win but there's a pretty good chance he'll be there at the end... Anyway, it's water!

Maybe more to come... Feel free to offer your own solutions

Last post? Maybe?

I just got and ingested my allergy drops. Turns out I was allergic to 17 things including some trees, nuts, molds, cat hair and grasses.

Yesterday I was given drops. Those drops are a combination of those 17 extracts. I have to put them under my tongue for 2 years and then... No more allergies forever. Cool concept... I'm a skeptic.

Either way, I just took them for the first time... I'll let you know if I'm dead.

Can you spare some change?

I can not believe how much my life is changing. I can't believe how much I'M changing. It's weird. I like different things. I have different priorities, habits, behaviors and character traits. I swear if you knew me 2 years ago and you know me now, you wouldn't even recognize me. It's pretty cool actually.

Yesterday, I went to the gym and got a massage from a very cute, VERY flirty 22 year old and all I could think was "God I wish she'd be quiet and let me relax" at any other point in my life I would have bought her a dozen roses and maybe a house or two.

Not anymore. Instead I am totally focused on my personal development. I have stuck with this budget app I have been using and most of my debt is paid up after this past paycheck. I even transferred a whopping $30 into savings.

It's fascinating. I don't think I'm nearly as fun as I have always been but that will come back. I'm sure of it. In the mean time, I am working every day to be a better me.

I don't claim to understand the fairer sex any more today than I did years ago, but now... Well... I don't really care. I can't be bothered really.

I woke up at 7am today to get a physical, that included blood work, an EKG and other tests. All of which, so far, turned out well. These are my priorities. Not valentines day or anniversaries or traveling. Just maintenance. It's definitely strange...

This ones boring.

Wow. I have so much to post. Congrats to the giants. Somewhere my dad is smiling. ALOT.

Little bit of a rough day today. I have a power steering leak, had uninvited interaction with an exes sister. Lost a horse... FOR REAL! All in all.. Pretty rough day. But if it weren't for the bad ones, we wouldn't appreciate the good ones. Right? Right!

On a separate note, my former boss called me because he's on a job search after the atrocious company for which he worked finally let him go. Brutal. But not surprising.

Ok. Not an interesting post but well they can't all be... Next one is. I promise.

Mixed Bag

The events of the last couple of days have had me at a crossroads between where I was and where I'm going. Trying hard not to go backwards is more difficult when you get the past thrown at you unexpectedly.

I'm in a great place and my world is getting better consistently. Yet, I'm not out of the woods entirely. I still have 3 things hanging over my head. A house I own but don't live in. Personal possessions I own but can't access. And the big one... Control over my personal future.

The first one I can wait a little while longer to address. The second will resolve itself by months end. But the third... Well that's a monster with which dealing is nearly impossible.

It seems the only way for me to deal with this has been to avoid thinking about it. It seems avoiding the issue is my only way to control something I can't control. It may be 2 months it may be 10 until it's resolved. The frustration has been overwhelming at times and has sent me spiraling on more than one occasion. Once resolved, I will NEVER allow myself into this position again. Till then, I have to deal, survive and keep moving forward.

When days like today come, I need to keep a positive attitude because that's all I can do for now. Meanwhile, I know they'll pass.

There is a part of rebuilding a foundation that is critical to being happy. Life is going to continue to have peaks and valleys. It's what life brings all of us. I HAVE to be able to build a bridge across those valleys that will make them not as steep.

Not sure if any of this makes sense, but I know what I mean.

Wow, that one was deep... I hope this gets it out of my system!