So today I was asked by my "landlord" if I was considering moving anytime soon (hint hint) because she has a friend in dire straits looking for a place to stay.
It's definitely time for me to make that step up to a better place and I think that it's a good thing. It just kind of came out of nowhere while I was more focused on acquiring a reliable car.
As I have said 100 times, it's 2012 and things are improving at a lightning fast pace.
My biggest concern now is that I don't want to lock myself into a lease for a year because I don't know if my company is going to offer me something somewhere else. I want to be ready if they do.
Like I said, this is a good thing, even if I have absolutely no idea how it'll get done.
But if there is one thing I have learned this year, it's that everything that's happening is benefiting my life, especially when it seems that it is not! :)
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
The Great Uteri Manipulation
Four women that I would consider good friends have spoken to me in the past week, or so, about the (for me) touchy subject of their exes and, as such, I have decided to write about it.
In the interest of full disclosure, these uteri vary in age from 19 to 37. Also, they come from different racial and ethnic backgrounds, religious affiliations and family lives... So, let's take it easy with the canned psychology for a minute.
I won't get into the specifics of each pair. I'll just say that all of their stories follow a very similar path. It is that path that frustrates me for a myriad of reasons.
Each of these women is consistently, and relentlessly, manipulated by an ex that knows how to pull on their heartstrings and make them "dance" their way right back to a guy that has no respect for, or appreciation of, them as a person.
I sit mesmerized by the similarities in their stories. He "called me", "emailed me", "texted me", "stopped by (always just for a minute) because he had something really important to tell me" or (my personal favorite) "posted something on his facebook that really upset me".
I'm not even remotely trying to play "Holier than thou" but I have to say, I really don't get it.
My friends are some of the most beautiful, and interesting, girls in the world inside and out. Yet, somehow, they always seem to have one idiot in their lives, that they've already accepted as inadequate, or otherwise not in their best interest, in the past. An idiot that they've ended a prior relationship with, usually more than once, that persistently nags at their psyche and is able to convince them that he is needed by them because they continuously allow him to do so.
In more than one of these examples, the object of the manipulation perceives this effort as "romantic" or (God forbid) "destiny".
Miraculously, this rare phenomenon usually seems to happen at one of two times. Either, when they are dating, or interested in, someone else and in the "happily ever after" phase of that new relationship, or, when they're genuinely standing on their own two feet for the first time.
What a coincidence!!
So you're finally strong and on your own or, worse yet, when there's a new prince charming in town. Suddenly, the old cast off, that knows your likes and dislikes, is suddenly the guy you always wanted him to be. It boggles my mind.
I have no ulterior motive here. I'm not wanting to, or trying to, date a single one of these lovely ladies. Rather, I see them as genuine friends about which I care greatly. I'm just troubled by their inability to see how they're being wronged.
I was touched by the theme of the movie "Friends with Benefits". I love the idea that you can lose your soulmate because you refused to let go of someone else, see them for who they really are or recognize the real love of your life.
One thing that all of these girls have in common is that they all expect that the only real way to move past their ex, is to have a guy come into their lives that is perfect in every way. he will be a guy who says, and does, all the right things at all the right times. Somehow this guy will need to be prince charming, yet, respect their independence. He will need to sweep them off their feet and, somehow, be 50/50 partners.
Ladies, no one can be all of those things. And why would he try to be that when your ex can simply manipulate you one day, crush your enthusiasm and make you wonder... What if?
If you genuinely want to be happy, you have to realize that your ex is only interested in making himself happy. The easiest way to accomplish that is to keep you from being happy with yourself or someone else.
If he made you happy... He simply wouldn't be your ex... Again.
UPDATE: So AFTER I posted this an ex of mine informed me that she is back together with her ex that slept with her best friend... Haha... Speechless.
In the interest of full disclosure, these uteri vary in age from 19 to 37. Also, they come from different racial and ethnic backgrounds, religious affiliations and family lives... So, let's take it easy with the canned psychology for a minute.
I won't get into the specifics of each pair. I'll just say that all of their stories follow a very similar path. It is that path that frustrates me for a myriad of reasons.
Each of these women is consistently, and relentlessly, manipulated by an ex that knows how to pull on their heartstrings and make them "dance" their way right back to a guy that has no respect for, or appreciation of, them as a person.
I sit mesmerized by the similarities in their stories. He "called me", "emailed me", "texted me", "stopped by (always just for a minute) because he had something really important to tell me" or (my personal favorite) "posted something on his facebook that really upset me".
I'm not even remotely trying to play "Holier than thou" but I have to say, I really don't get it.
My friends are some of the most beautiful, and interesting, girls in the world inside and out. Yet, somehow, they always seem to have one idiot in their lives, that they've already accepted as inadequate, or otherwise not in their best interest, in the past. An idiot that they've ended a prior relationship with, usually more than once, that persistently nags at their psyche and is able to convince them that he is needed by them because they continuously allow him to do so.
In more than one of these examples, the object of the manipulation perceives this effort as "romantic" or (God forbid) "destiny".
Miraculously, this rare phenomenon usually seems to happen at one of two times. Either, when they are dating, or interested in, someone else and in the "happily ever after" phase of that new relationship, or, when they're genuinely standing on their own two feet for the first time.
What a coincidence!!
So you're finally strong and on your own or, worse yet, when there's a new prince charming in town. Suddenly, the old cast off, that knows your likes and dislikes, is suddenly the guy you always wanted him to be. It boggles my mind.
I have no ulterior motive here. I'm not wanting to, or trying to, date a single one of these lovely ladies. Rather, I see them as genuine friends about which I care greatly. I'm just troubled by their inability to see how they're being wronged.
I was touched by the theme of the movie "Friends with Benefits". I love the idea that you can lose your soulmate because you refused to let go of someone else, see them for who they really are or recognize the real love of your life.
One thing that all of these girls have in common is that they all expect that the only real way to move past their ex, is to have a guy come into their lives that is perfect in every way. he will be a guy who says, and does, all the right things at all the right times. Somehow this guy will need to be prince charming, yet, respect their independence. He will need to sweep them off their feet and, somehow, be 50/50 partners.
Ladies, no one can be all of those things. And why would he try to be that when your ex can simply manipulate you one day, crush your enthusiasm and make you wonder... What if?
If you genuinely want to be happy, you have to realize that your ex is only interested in making himself happy. The easiest way to accomplish that is to keep you from being happy with yourself or someone else.
If he made you happy... He simply wouldn't be your ex... Again.
UPDATE: So AFTER I posted this an ex of mine informed me that she is back together with her ex that slept with her best friend... Haha... Speechless.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Last day
Ok, I have lots to say but I'm exhausted, so it'll be quick.
Today is my final day of training at Sweet Tomatoes. I got a great cake and a goodbye card from the whole staff. It was really cool.
Final leg of this journey, it's exciting and more than a bit nerve wracking. I'll get into it more tomorrow night.
Just needed to make a note of the day.
Today is my final day of training at Sweet Tomatoes. I got a great cake and a goodbye card from the whole staff. It was really cool.
Final leg of this journey, it's exciting and more than a bit nerve wracking. I'll get into it more tomorrow night.
Just needed to make a note of the day.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
No-Mas-Te Yoga!
Today was my first Namaste Yoga class. I think it killed me. How can something with so little movement pummel me the way, what I can only imagine, a triathlon or a wrecking ball would?!?!
So now I have no choice but to stick it out because, well, I've already infuriated every SINGLE muscle in my body. Since we are no longer speaking, I may as well go all the way with this!
Dont get me wrong, I'm glad I went. I just wasn't expecting it to be that crazy. It looks so peaceful on tv!!!!
At one with the universe, my ass! I was at one with the FLOOR!
I heard I too many fat jokes this week so I decided to take control of the situation. Next time maybe I'll start with walking my dog instead of downward dog.
That's all I got....
So now I have no choice but to stick it out because, well, I've already infuriated every SINGLE muscle in my body. Since we are no longer speaking, I may as well go all the way with this!
Dont get me wrong, I'm glad I went. I just wasn't expecting it to be that crazy. It looks so peaceful on tv!!!!
At one with the universe, my ass! I was at one with the FLOOR!
I heard I too many fat jokes this week so I decided to take control of the situation. Next time maybe I'll start with walking my dog instead of downward dog.
That's all I got....
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Non-Alcoholic Serenity
You know what sucks about the Serenity Prayer? I am sure that it's the part about accepting the things you can not change (which I am told is an important part of the prayer).
A few things have happened in my world this week that, had they happened at any time prior to 2012, would have landed me in some serious hot water.
Not these days. These days, I am working on the acceptance thing. I'm "choosing my battles", "keeping my eye on the prize" or any other Cheezy (there's that word again) cliche that you'd like to insert. But, why?
Personal growth? Not likely.
Getting old? Hope not.
Losing my edge? God forbid.
No. I think it's just that I have come to the realization that, with the exception of this blog ironically, it isn't all about me.
Let that sink in... I, Dave Devito just said that!
Moreover, in order for me to accomplish my personal goals, I have figured out that I have to allow for the fact that other people have their own desires as well. Desires that can directly affect my own life, positively or negatively. The key is to recognize those, quickly, as they happen and react accordingly. Easier said than done.
So allow me to be clear here. I am in no way compromising my integrity, in no way losing my "fight" and in no way giving up on my goals.
Rather, I feel that I'm closer than ever before because I have a clearer understanding of a key aspect of my success... Acceptance of those damned things I can't change....
A few things have happened in my world this week that, had they happened at any time prior to 2012, would have landed me in some serious hot water.
Not these days. These days, I am working on the acceptance thing. I'm "choosing my battles", "keeping my eye on the prize" or any other Cheezy (there's that word again) cliche that you'd like to insert. But, why?
Personal growth? Not likely.
Getting old? Hope not.
Losing my edge? God forbid.
No. I think it's just that I have come to the realization that, with the exception of this blog ironically, it isn't all about me.
Let that sink in... I, Dave Devito just said that!
Moreover, in order for me to accomplish my personal goals, I have figured out that I have to allow for the fact that other people have their own desires as well. Desires that can directly affect my own life, positively or negatively. The key is to recognize those, quickly, as they happen and react accordingly. Easier said than done.
So allow me to be clear here. I am in no way compromising my integrity, in no way losing my "fight" and in no way giving up on my goals.
Rather, I feel that I'm closer than ever before because I have a clearer understanding of a key aspect of my success... Acceptance of those damned things I can't change....
Friday, February 17, 2012
Think & Grow Rich
I'm re-reading Napoleon Hill's "Think and grow rich" (audiobook on my ride to work).
I honestly forgot how inspirational this very old book is. More importantly, I forgot how relevant it is 90+ years later. The references to the depression are relevant in our economy and if you can tolerate the occasional outdated speech, the psychology, emotion and mindset are still incredibly powerful.
There's a story about how his son was born without ears. The chapter details his (Napoleon's) own overwhelming desire not to allow his son to accept his handicap or learn sign language. Rather, his son learns to act and behave like he is a normal part of society and eventually, at 22, is able to hear though a device without any ears or ear canals. Its fascinating and awe inspiring.
Anyone who has visited my extremely humble abode in the past year or so has seen 3 signs that I have posted all around my home:
Desire
Want it as bad as you want to breathe
Act as if...
Desire is from this book. Essentially it is the act of "willing" something to be true.
That's what I do. Part of this transition as a person for me is to fully accept that I am in complete control of my future.
Each day as I drive home, this book, more than any other, reminds me that we hold the power to be and do anything, in our own hands.
Anything truly is possible. Read this book. It'll change your whole way of thinking.
Meanwhile, I'm going to continue to act as if...
I honestly forgot how inspirational this very old book is. More importantly, I forgot how relevant it is 90+ years later. The references to the depression are relevant in our economy and if you can tolerate the occasional outdated speech, the psychology, emotion and mindset are still incredibly powerful.
There's a story about how his son was born without ears. The chapter details his (Napoleon's) own overwhelming desire not to allow his son to accept his handicap or learn sign language. Rather, his son learns to act and behave like he is a normal part of society and eventually, at 22, is able to hear though a device without any ears or ear canals. Its fascinating and awe inspiring.
Anyone who has visited my extremely humble abode in the past year or so has seen 3 signs that I have posted all around my home:
Desire
Want it as bad as you want to breathe
Act as if...
Desire is from this book. Essentially it is the act of "willing" something to be true.
That's what I do. Part of this transition as a person for me is to fully accept that I am in complete control of my future.
Each day as I drive home, this book, more than any other, reminds me that we hold the power to be and do anything, in our own hands.
Anything truly is possible. Read this book. It'll change your whole way of thinking.
Meanwhile, I'm going to continue to act as if...
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Whole lotta nothin...
It feels like all I do is work lately. This is gonna be short but I wanted to make a quick note. Because a lot has happened.
Made it through the stupidest holiday of the year. One more peak climbed.
Found out more info about work. Need to train 2 more weeks to be certified for GM. That's promising. Til then, good salary, good job and lots of time to do other things beside work.
More healing. Spoke to my ex-wife for an hour yesterday. Good talk. We both got a chance to patch up some serious misconceptions about a time where chaos ruled.
Made it through the stupidest holiday of the year. One more peak climbed.
Found out more info about work. Need to train 2 more weeks to be certified for GM. That's promising. Til then, good salary, good job and lots of time to do other things beside work.
More healing. Spoke to my ex-wife for an hour yesterday. Good talk. We both got a chance to patch up some serious misconceptions about a time where chaos ruled.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Sow what?
I have had this strange theme in my life for the past 72 hours, or so, of "reaping what you sow".
That's a phrase I've never used. I understand its meaning. It's just not something I have ever really said. I did so for the first time today because it appears to fit in with all of the recent changes in my world.
I went with a friend to the First Baptist church in Woodstock on Saturday for a Men's conference. It was VERY new and interesting and a great learning experience. Anyway, the pastor there spoke about decisions and he said something I had never heard before. Essentially, he said that you spend your life making decisions to grow and enhance your life and intelligence and, yet, ONE poor one can make you stupid.
Think about it, everything you have worked to build can be destroyed because you cheat on a spouse, steal from a company, or lie to close confidant. One single error in judgement and everything can change. Reap what you sow.
So, as I watch and see many of the people that have wronged me suffering, at just about any other time in my life, I would have reveled in their misery.
But today, I recognize the hypocrisy in that concept so all I can do is focus on my own future and prevent myself from being where I have been recently, ever again.
Each day something has happened that helps to pave tomorrow. I've committed myself to making each day better and in 2012 it's ABSOLUTELY working.
I'm sowing every day. And recently, I have begun to reap...
It's pretty cool.
That's a phrase I've never used. I understand its meaning. It's just not something I have ever really said. I did so for the first time today because it appears to fit in with all of the recent changes in my world.
I went with a friend to the First Baptist church in Woodstock on Saturday for a Men's conference. It was VERY new and interesting and a great learning experience. Anyway, the pastor there spoke about decisions and he said something I had never heard before. Essentially, he said that you spend your life making decisions to grow and enhance your life and intelligence and, yet, ONE poor one can make you stupid.
Think about it, everything you have worked to build can be destroyed because you cheat on a spouse, steal from a company, or lie to close confidant. One single error in judgement and everything can change. Reap what you sow.
So, as I watch and see many of the people that have wronged me suffering, at just about any other time in my life, I would have reveled in their misery.
But today, I recognize the hypocrisy in that concept so all I can do is focus on my own future and prevent myself from being where I have been recently, ever again.
Each day something has happened that helps to pave tomorrow. I've committed myself to making each day better and in 2012 it's ABSOLUTELY working.
I'm sowing every day. And recently, I have begun to reap...
It's pretty cool.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Walk ~ Foo Fighters
A million miles away
Your signal in the distance
To whom it may concern
I think I lost my way
Getting good at starting over
Every time that I return
I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough?
Where do I begin?
Do you remember the days
We built these paper mountains
And sat and watched them burn?
I think I found my place
Can't you feel it growing stronger?
Little conquerors
I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
Now
For the very first time
Don't you pay no mind?
Set me free again
You keep alive a moment at a time
But still inside a whisper to a liar
To sacrifice but knowing to survive
The first decline another state of mind
I'm on my knees, I'm praying for a sign
Forever, whenever
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I'm on my knees
I never wanna die
I'm dancing on my grave
I'm running through the fire
Forever, whatever
I never wanna die
I never wanna leave
I'll never say goodbye
Forever, whatever
Forever, whatever
I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough?
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough?
Your signal in the distance
To whom it may concern
I think I lost my way
Getting good at starting over
Every time that I return
I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough?
Where do I begin?
Do you remember the days
We built these paper mountains
And sat and watched them burn?
I think I found my place
Can't you feel it growing stronger?
Little conquerors
I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
Now
For the very first time
Don't you pay no mind?
Set me free again
You keep alive a moment at a time
But still inside a whisper to a liar
To sacrifice but knowing to survive
The first decline another state of mind
I'm on my knees, I'm praying for a sign
Forever, whenever
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I'm on my knees
I never wanna die
I'm dancing on my grave
I'm running through the fire
Forever, whatever
I never wanna die
I never wanna leave
I'll never say goodbye
Forever, whatever
Forever, whatever
I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough?
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough?
Grammys
Watched the Grammys tonight. They were really good. I started out calling them the Whitney's. Thankfully, that slowed down.
So, except for Swiffers, in no particular order, here are my thoughts:
Taylor Swift is... Perfect.
Gwyneth Paltrow is still beautiful. Beach Boys still doing it and Paul McCartney's Valentine song is fantastic.. Typical Sir Paul.
Me AND Ladies Love Cool James. (which would make him MALL Cool J). That was a very smart joke ^^
Glenn Campbell was awesome, though kinda sad.
The FOO fighters are spectacular. It's like 10 years later but I'm finally on board. (the song "Walk" put me over)
All in all. Impressive performance. It's a shame Madonna wasn't there to ruin it.
So, except for Swiffers, in no particular order, here are my thoughts:
Taylor Swift is... Perfect.
Gwyneth Paltrow is still beautiful. Beach Boys still doing it and Paul McCartney's Valentine song is fantastic.. Typical Sir Paul.
Me AND Ladies Love Cool James. (which would make him MALL Cool J). That was a very smart joke ^^
Glenn Campbell was awesome, though kinda sad.
The FOO fighters are spectacular. It's like 10 years later but I'm finally on board. (the song "Walk" put me over)
All in all. Impressive performance. It's a shame Madonna wasn't there to ruin it.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Told you I was the sweetest guy
Got my blood work back. Surprise to NO ONE who has ever met me, I have elevated cholesterol. If you've ever eaten my fettuccine Alfredo, so do you!
But this one did come as a surprise...
I have (slightly) elevated blood sugar. See how sweet I am? Inside out, right? Amazing, finally tangible, measurable proof of my sweetness.
Anyway, now my main focus is unsweeting myself. I know to all of my contemporaries this may come as a shock. You're likely to think "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! not your sweetness!" but yes, I have little choice.
So, now the second massive transition in my adult life is on... First, years ago, coke was out.... sweet tea was in... In phase 2, sweet tea is out.
Replacing that is even more of a challenge. Right now the semifinalists are as follows;
A. The long shot rookie from sweet tomatoes... Unsweetened pomegranate tea...
B. My newest friend light lemonade by minute made. No extra sweeteners
C. This is the "Joey Chestnut" option. You hope it won't win but there's a pretty good chance he'll be there at the end... Anyway, it's water!
Maybe more to come... Feel free to offer your own solutions
But this one did come as a surprise...
I have (slightly) elevated blood sugar. See how sweet I am? Inside out, right? Amazing, finally tangible, measurable proof of my sweetness.
Anyway, now my main focus is unsweeting myself. I know to all of my contemporaries this may come as a shock. You're likely to think "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! not your sweetness!" but yes, I have little choice.
So, now the second massive transition in my adult life is on... First, years ago, coke was out.... sweet tea was in... In phase 2, sweet tea is out.
Replacing that is even more of a challenge. Right now the semifinalists are as follows;
A. The long shot rookie from sweet tomatoes... Unsweetened pomegranate tea...
B. My newest friend light lemonade by minute made. No extra sweeteners
C. This is the "Joey Chestnut" option. You hope it won't win but there's a pretty good chance he'll be there at the end... Anyway, it's water!
Maybe more to come... Feel free to offer your own solutions
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Last post? Maybe?
I just got and ingested my allergy drops. Turns out I was allergic to 17 things including some trees, nuts, molds, cat hair and grasses.
Yesterday I was given drops. Those drops are a combination of those 17 extracts. I have to put them under my tongue for 2 years and then... No more allergies forever. Cool concept... I'm a skeptic.
Either way, I just took them for the first time... I'll let you know if I'm dead.
Yesterday I was given drops. Those drops are a combination of those 17 extracts. I have to put them under my tongue for 2 years and then... No more allergies forever. Cool concept... I'm a skeptic.
Either way, I just took them for the first time... I'll let you know if I'm dead.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Can you spare some change?
I can not believe how much my life is changing. I can't believe how much I'M changing. It's weird. I like different things. I have different priorities, habits, behaviors and character traits. I swear if you knew me 2 years ago and you know me now, you wouldn't even recognize me. It's pretty cool actually.
Yesterday, I went to the gym and got a massage from a very cute, VERY flirty 22 year old and all I could think was "God I wish she'd be quiet and let me relax" at any other point in my life I would have bought her a dozen roses and maybe a house or two.
Not anymore. Instead I am totally focused on my personal development. I have stuck with this budget app I have been using and most of my debt is paid up after this past paycheck. I even transferred a whopping $30 into savings.
It's fascinating. I don't think I'm nearly as fun as I have always been but that will come back. I'm sure of it. In the mean time, I am working every day to be a better me.
I don't claim to understand the fairer sex any more today than I did years ago, but now... Well... I don't really care. I can't be bothered really.
I woke up at 7am today to get a physical, that included blood work, an EKG and other tests. All of which, so far, turned out well. These are my priorities. Not valentines day or anniversaries or traveling. Just maintenance. It's definitely strange...
Yesterday, I went to the gym and got a massage from a very cute, VERY flirty 22 year old and all I could think was "God I wish she'd be quiet and let me relax" at any other point in my life I would have bought her a dozen roses and maybe a house or two.
Not anymore. Instead I am totally focused on my personal development. I have stuck with this budget app I have been using and most of my debt is paid up after this past paycheck. I even transferred a whopping $30 into savings.
It's fascinating. I don't think I'm nearly as fun as I have always been but that will come back. I'm sure of it. In the mean time, I am working every day to be a better me.
I don't claim to understand the fairer sex any more today than I did years ago, but now... Well... I don't really care. I can't be bothered really.
I woke up at 7am today to get a physical, that included blood work, an EKG and other tests. All of which, so far, turned out well. These are my priorities. Not valentines day or anniversaries or traveling. Just maintenance. It's definitely strange...
This ones boring.
Wow. I have so much to post. Congrats to the giants. Somewhere my dad is smiling. ALOT.
Little bit of a rough day today. I have a power steering leak, had uninvited interaction with an exes sister. Lost a horse... FOR REAL! All in all.. Pretty rough day. But if it weren't for the bad ones, we wouldn't appreciate the good ones. Right? Right!
On a separate note, my former boss called me because he's on a job search after the atrocious company for which he worked finally let him go. Brutal. But not surprising.
Ok. Not an interesting post but well they can't all be... Next one is. I promise.
Little bit of a rough day today. I have a power steering leak, had uninvited interaction with an exes sister. Lost a horse... FOR REAL! All in all.. Pretty rough day. But if it weren't for the bad ones, we wouldn't appreciate the good ones. Right? Right!
On a separate note, my former boss called me because he's on a job search after the atrocious company for which he worked finally let him go. Brutal. But not surprising.
Ok. Not an interesting post but well they can't all be... Next one is. I promise.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Mixed Bag
The events of the last couple of days have had me at a crossroads between where I was and where I'm going. Trying hard not to go backwards is more difficult when you get the past thrown at you unexpectedly.
I'm in a great place and my world is getting better consistently. Yet, I'm not out of the woods entirely. I still have 3 things hanging over my head. A house I own but don't live in. Personal possessions I own but can't access. And the big one... Control over my personal future.
The first one I can wait a little while longer to address. The second will resolve itself by months end. But the third... Well that's a monster with which dealing is nearly impossible.
It seems the only way for me to deal with this has been to avoid thinking about it. It seems avoiding the issue is my only way to control something I can't control. It may be 2 months it may be 10 until it's resolved. The frustration has been overwhelming at times and has sent me spiraling on more than one occasion. Once resolved, I will NEVER allow myself into this position again. Till then, I have to deal, survive and keep moving forward.
When days like today come, I need to keep a positive attitude because that's all I can do for now. Meanwhile, I know they'll pass.
There is a part of rebuilding a foundation that is critical to being happy. Life is going to continue to have peaks and valleys. It's what life brings all of us. I HAVE to be able to build a bridge across those valleys that will make them not as steep.
Not sure if any of this makes sense, but I know what I mean.
Wow, that one was deep... I hope this gets it out of my system!
I'm in a great place and my world is getting better consistently. Yet, I'm not out of the woods entirely. I still have 3 things hanging over my head. A house I own but don't live in. Personal possessions I own but can't access. And the big one... Control over my personal future.
The first one I can wait a little while longer to address. The second will resolve itself by months end. But the third... Well that's a monster with which dealing is nearly impossible.
It seems the only way for me to deal with this has been to avoid thinking about it. It seems avoiding the issue is my only way to control something I can't control. It may be 2 months it may be 10 until it's resolved. The frustration has been overwhelming at times and has sent me spiraling on more than one occasion. Once resolved, I will NEVER allow myself into this position again. Till then, I have to deal, survive and keep moving forward.
When days like today come, I need to keep a positive attitude because that's all I can do for now. Meanwhile, I know they'll pass.
There is a part of rebuilding a foundation that is critical to being happy. Life is going to continue to have peaks and valleys. It's what life brings all of us. I HAVE to be able to build a bridge across those valleys that will make them not as steep.
Not sure if any of this makes sense, but I know what I mean.
Wow, that one was deep... I hope this gets it out of my system!
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