Run for the border...

As my final days in Georgia wind down, I have begun to get a little nostalgic. I imagine I will get over it pretty quickly. I mean, it has been a relatively horrific experience. One that has included divorce, my restaurant being robbed at gunpoint, having a separate gun pulled on me, blatantly discriminatory termination from a job, dating 2 complete psychopaths, recovery from the brink of emotional and financial disaster and much, much more... Ahh the memories.

But within the next 48 hours, I will be back in Florida. That's not to say that I think Orlando is all puppy dogs and butterflies. However, it is a great opportunity to put together the second half of my life.

Some of my best memories, longest lasting friendships and favorite places are in Orlando. Plus, I am headed back to school on August 27th. That's really exciting. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. Nonetheless, I will be moving toward a degree. THAT is something I want to do for myself. Not necessarily for a job.

So, to Georgia I say, in the immortal words of the not-so-well-known band Fall Out Boy

"One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
Even though they weren't so great..."

Back to Florida I go... 20 years after my first go around. I have a LOT more experience and I am taking NO prisoners... Here goes nothing!

State of Unhappiness v. David DeVito... Don't Judge Me!

Perhaps the biggest revelation of my entire life happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I promised that I would write about it, so I am making the time to do so.

Opening Argument:

I'm broken. Most of us are. Very rarely do we take the time to acknowledge it, let alone correct it. For the past few weeks, I have discovered the crux of my issue. As I have all year long, I am voicing it here for anyone who would like to listen to do so. I keep referring to the "hole" that I had inside. It is a hole that I have tried to fill with jobs, cars and, most importantly, women! That hole is actually insecurity. My insecurity was deeply rooted, immeasurable and almost impossible for me to recognize in myself. But after months of personal analysis, and the help of a few good friends, I have found it.

Exhibit 1

I have worked for at least 6 millionaires and one billionaire. I have thrown myself into every job I have had as if it were my own business. Six to nine months into the job, I begin to get "ancy". I begin to feel as if the level of dedication is not reciprocated by the company and/or person in charge and begin to get frustrated. That frustration grows to a point where I simply do not enjoy the work and no longer want to be part of the operation. Now, in MANY cases, I have been wronged. I have had employers back out of contracts owing my 10s of thousands of dollars. I have been wrongfully (and at times rightfully)terminated. I have been paid virtually nothing to create businesses for people on their word that they'd "take care" of me when they made money. I even had a company that I made millions for, hold my last paycheck and leave me flat broke on New Years after giving proper notice just to punish me for leaving. That said, I would always leave furious that my work ethic and my dedication had not commanded more respect from my employer. It was only recently that I began to understand why.

Exhibit 2

I have spent a lot of time (arguably too much) in the past year analyzing myself and my romantic relationships, the"ins and outs", who was at fault, mistakes made, etc. Mostly, I did this in an attempt not to repeat past mistakes. As many will attest, the"not repeating" thing is not my strongest asset. Nevertheless, I revisited the topic and realized something about the girls that I date. A guynamed Eddie that I worked with about 100 years ago in Disney once said that all girls I dated tucked their hair behind their ear, and that fact, alone, was theonly thing that they all had in common. However, in 2012, I realized that was not the only thing. Not only did all of these girls have something in common with each other, but they have something in common with all of my former employers as well.

Exhibit 3

That common ground is, simply put, that they WANTED me. It didn't matter to me if I wanted them. It didn't matter if it was the meth addict or the fast food joint, if they wanted me, I'd give it a shot. This was based on my own lack of self-worth, my "hole" but I never realized it. I, actually, have VERY specific taste and pretty high job standards. I once saw a former manager of mine at Disney. He was working at the Ale House and I thought "His life didn't turn out well". Granted, I was far more judgmental in my youth. The point is that I always held myself to that high standard in my own head but rather than stand my ground and realize that I needed to shoot higher than a mediocre career or a less than quality girlfriend, I would commit to the first recruiter or psychopath that showed interest in me and my "hole"!

Exhibit 4

A few weeks ago, I went to Orlando and a friend of mine was saying over and over, that he couldn't understand what had "happened" to me. He didn't get how I could have landed so far from where I was and he even went so far as to say "I mean, you're DAVE DEVITO" as if that meant something monumental. My response was to thank him, but to point out how that didn't really get you too much in this world.After a week of reflection and introspective in Orlando, like a baseball bat to the temporal lobe, it hit me! That was IT! The one who didn't see "Dave DeVito" as worth something more, was ME!

Closing Argument

And that truly is it. Now let's go back, back to the millionaires that I was trying to impress. Not because I wanted more money or more recognition, but because I was shoveling dirt into this hole in my self-esteem. No amount of money was ever enough to make me feel proud. Nothing was enough to make me feel "complete". The last 3girls that I had dated all screamed in my face as our relationship ended, that I was impossible to satisfy (One said insatiable: the other two.. not that bright). Of course I was! I wasn't happy with ME! How could they be happy with me?! Moreover, how could they possibly make me happy???? I know this may all seem like common sense or, perhaps, like something out of a self-help book, but it was amazing to click that light on in my head. I have felt like an entirely different person.

That I have figured out this "hole", this insecurity, at 40, is a true blessing to me, mostly, because, now I am at least armed with some information that may actually lead to my own happiness. People say that your 40s are the best time of your life because you're still young enough to go out and do things but you know better than to fall into traps that you wouldn't have seen earlier. Time will tell whether that ends up being true.But there is one thing that I have learned. I need to be my biggest fan.

The defense rests.

Dedication (Ok, that doesn’t fit the theme)

To my friend Jay Pravato, I want to feel as strongly about actually being Dave DeVito as you do about me being Dave DeVito. Thanks!!

My Gluten Free Story

On March 28th 2012, I got the results of a food tolerance test, called the ALCAT, that I had taken a few weeks prior. The results of that test shocked me. In total, there were 85 items on the list.
The ALCAT identifies 3 different levels of "food intolerance". The majority of the items on my list were on the "Mild" intolerance list, but one thing was clear. I had a gluten intolerance. This was pretty much my worst fear. I grew up in a family that ordered pizza or pasta from the family restaurant virtually every night. Gluten was something that my body couldn't live without.. or so I thought.
I am not going to get into what gluten is or any of the technical jargon. There are literally 100s of thousands of articles online about the subject. I'm writing this is to talk about the effects that this has had on me personally.



November Last Year

I never considered myself overweight and neither did any of my doctors. However, in February, I was told that I had "slightly elevated" blood sugar and high cholesterol. I had maxed out my weight to 204lbs. High for me, but nothing outrageous (I am 6 feet tall). I had been working out since November and hadn't lost any weight. Friends and supporters would say "Muscle weighs more than fat" and "Once it starts coming off, it'll happen quickly" and other similar things. But the truth was, nothing was happening. So when I got the ALCAT results, I thought, "maybe it is the gluten", but that's was not going to be enough for me to change.
Then my mother told me about Elisabeth Hasselbeck and her book "The G-Free Diet". Now we were talking! Politics aside, she's beautiful and (as any of my friends will tell you) that was good enough for me! So I googled her. The introduction to her book is downloadable online, I read it and her symptoms were almost identical to mine and I became even more intrigued. I also knew that I had been feeling tired and listless a lot, so, gym membership and all, I decided to give this all a try.
For the first 2 weeks, I ate virtually nothing. Kroger had some good stuff and the gluten free food selection was limited in Publix or Walmart so I wasn't too sure. Honestly, I don't know how I did it for those first few weeks. I was not feeling better, I was not losing weight and I was hungry... ALL THE TIME. Actually, I was not only not feeling better. I was always hungry, always sleeping, always aloof and, honestly, pretty mean.
One day, about 2 weeks in, as I was blowing off my texts and phone calls, I realized that I was acting odd and started to wonder about it. So, back to google. This time the search was for "Gluten withdrawals". Turns out, that is a VERY real thing. Not experienced by everyone, but for those of us that do experience it, it has been compared to opiate withdrawals. Really! Look it up.

That was the night I realized that there was something to this. I mean, seriously, if there is a withdrawal associated with it, something isn't right about the stuff. It's like an addiction. That was too crazy to me.

Three weeks in, I had the amazingly good fortune of meeting a woman named Julia at Whole Foods in Roswell GA. Julia, in her 60s, has been gluten free (G-Free) for 5 years and was giving out ridiculously delicious, cupcake samples. We started talking and she walked around the store with me showing me the best brands and the best tasting individual items and she told me that it would be a long climb but that it would be worth it. She would turn out to be so right. I never could have dreamt how right she was, at the time.
So, I began to research local restaurants and national chains to find out where I could eat and what I could eat when I got there. To my surprise, almost every restaurant has a G-Free menu. Actually, I just found out today that Boston Market's chicken gravy is now G-Free (That's rare). I pretty much live on G-Free pizzas. There's a place called Brooklyn Joe's here in Atlanta that makes an AMAZING one. It has been a daily educational process, but a fun one. Plus, many people start conversations with me about the topic and that is a pretty cool thing too. Kroger associates, in particular, love to show off their products. In truth, some of those conversations are what led to me writing this entry.



Taken In Orlando 3 Weeks ago.

As it stands today, I weigh 179lbs. That's exactly 25lbs in just less than 4 months. But the point is more that I do NOT eat any less. I just don't eat the things my body can not process. I still eat "junk" food and I still eat as often as I want to and until I'm full. I even went through a phase where I stopped working out entirely for a full month and weighed 9lbs less at the end of the month than at the beginning of it.
I think the whole point that I want to make here is that the whole "G-Free Lifestyle" thing seems daunting to most people. However, if you ask ANYONE who knows me, they'll tell you that if I can do it.. truly... anyone can!
Now I am telling you that it's worth it!!

I feel better. I look better. Most importantly, I AM better. Literally, I went to my doctor about 2 weeks ago and she asked what I had done to lose so much weight. I told her that I was G-Free. She smiled and said "Wow! Good job. Ok, we don't need to worry about the blood sugar and cholesterol anymore." She didn't even test me! THAT is Stunning! It also backs up Elisabeth Hasselbeck's claim in her book that the medical community isn't interested in promoting this type of testing because there's no "pill" for it. When she diagnosed me back in February, there was no mention of going G-Free.

Lastly, when I first started this endeavor at the end of March, and had no idea what I was doing, I read dozens of blogs and they motivated me. I hope that today I am paying it forward a little.

Thanks for reading.

Prelude to a Post

There is no doubt that as we entered July, the halfway point of 2012, I realized that this year, my "year of change" has become the strongest and most prolific year of my life. Even if, financially I am not there, emotionally I have struggled, and professionally, I have been set back.

It has become a daily series of revelations that are mapping out the real me...

I had to make a note of the most unusual time by far of 2012. I will get into it and reveal my epiphanies later this week. (I certainly have the time) Anyway here's my overview. I....

Left Sweet Tomatoes.
Went to Orlando to relax with the family.
Had a fantastic time there.
Got to spend some GREAT time with a couple of friends.
Decided to focus on returning to Orlando for good.
Had a LIFE CHANGING revelation about myself, my taste, my jobs and my attitude
Returned home.
Relaxed for a couple of days.
Went to a friends house for the 4th today.
Made a detailed list of things I need to do to get back to Orlando.


Tomorrow I wake up... and execute.


I will write my experiences tomorrow for sure...