Heres the article..
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/05/29/police-hackensack-man-stabbed-himself-threw-his-skin-and-intestines-at-officers/
Here's my story....
To
Protect and Serve…
Once upon a time, there was a perfectly normal,
well-adjusted man that, on a bright sunny day in New Jersey, needed to cut,
remove and show his intestines to the local police and SWAT teams. Wayne Carter
was a nice guy, an easy going fellow that simply had an eventful day. When the
old school alarm clock on his nightstand went off one Tuesday morning, Carter stated
aloud, “Today is a good day!” This was a little trick he’d taught himself to
kick start his day. This was a trick he’d used for years; Ten years to be
exact. That is how long it had been since “The Incident”.
In spring of 2002, 33 year old, Carter had a bizarre day.
It wasn’t his fault. He was simply a victim of circumstance. Hanging out on the
south side of town with a couple of “friends”, he was merely conducting
business, a business that was based in largely unregulated pharmaceutical
distribution. Anyway, his was primarily a cash based entity, one that focused
on serving his community. Well, on this specific afternoon, he ran into a
gentleman ironically named “Lil Jon”. Lil Jon was about seven feet tall and
looked like a brick wall with feet. He arrived on the corner and explained to
Mr. Carter that there had been a mix-up and that Carter had clearly inadvertently
set up his business at the location usually occupied by himself. That’s when
Connie, the guy in Carter’s head, warned him of Lil Jon’s intentions. Carter
did what any of us would; he showed gratitude and listened to his trusted
internal friend. There is more to the
story but, ultimately, Mr. Carter ended up riding in the back of a police car
later that night, to help sort things out.
The police requested that Mr. Carter spend some time at
their station and planned out a strategy for his future. (These truly were nice
guys). The strategy included Carter donating some of his time, and his hard
earned money, to the local government. They also requested that he remain “in
touch” with them for the next few years. Though this seemed like a strange
sentiment to Carter, he obliged and once a month, he visited with a man named
Mr. Diaz just to talk for a few minutes. But all of that was years ago. He
hadn’t thought about that for a while. Anyway, that was the strangest day he
had before today.
For the most part, today was just fine. It started just
like the rest. Mr. Carter had coffee and a doughnut for breakfast, a turkey sandwich
and a beer for lunch and a sensible Lean Cuisine and another beer for dinner.
That’s when he saw the TV. The six o clock
news announced a recall on Lean Cuisine. Thank goodness for his old friend
Connie. He warned him that food needed to come out and there was only one way
to do it. It needed to be cut out. It needed to be cut out NOW.
An hour later, alone in his room, having followed his
instructions, Mr. Carter heard a knock at the door. It was the police. He
hadn’t heard from them in years. Excited to see him, they actually burst into
his apartment to say “hello”. But they got scared when they saw the knife, and maybe
the intestines, and asked that drop the knife immediately. With his trusty
friend in his ear, Carter explained that he had this Lean Cuisine in him and he
proudly showed the kind officers the parts of the dinner he had cut out of him.
They were still pretty far away so in his excitement, he threw it to them. But
they left. He didn’t understand at first, but Connie told him it was ok and it
was. The police brought their friends back with them! It said SWAT and they
were big guys. They thought that squirting some stuff in his eyes would help
get the poison out of him but it didn’t work out too well. He apparently lost
consciousness, for a minute, from the poison, and then finally, they helped him
lie down and fall asleep. They took Wayne to the hospital and he ended up
feeling much better…no more poison Lean Cuisine in him.
Today was an unusual, but fantastic day for Wayne Carter.
He got to hear Connie’s voice for the first time in years. He, thankfully, got
warned by the local news and was able to act quickly to save his own life. But,
most importantly, he got to see his old friends at the Hackensack N.J. police
department, the good men that were always there to assist him. This was the
kind of day people who take drugs could only hope to have.
