Earned Interest

I constantly marvel at how I lost control of the respect of friends last year. On occasion, I still have some people attempt to do it to me this year. Most have learned quickly, that it tends to have far greater consequences these days.

I've always been sensitive when it comes to respect in romantic and business relationships and friendships. Mostly because I have, in the past, tended to give it without having friends, family, coworkers, etc. actually earn it. On at least 20 occasions, it has come back to bite me. Moreover, I spent a great deal of my own time attempting to prove myself to people. Most of whom, in retrospect, are not worthy of my time.

All if this is part of the massive insecurity I have tackled this year and more than a little bit responsible for it altogether.

Many of the people in my life passed unnecessary and certainly inaccurate judgement on me last year. Many people decided that they could enter and exit my life on their own terms and in their own time frame without any regard for the affect it had on me. They also, absolutely assumed and expected for me to be there when they are ready to do so. Like a fool, I always was!

I had given every excuse from the ages of my friends, to their personal struggles getting in the way of their thought processes and consideration to my feelings. But the reality is, I am the one that allowed the disrespect to happen.

So pretty much on a daily basis now, I think of how many people exited my life for good and didn't know it because I decided they didn't need to return.

Nothing in particular happened today to spark this. Actually, a few things happened more than a week ago. But beyond the shadow of a doubt today is the day that I've decided to say it.

I have to say acquaintances are completely different. I'm speaking particularly of people that were a part of my daily life that simply disappeared without warning or reason. Then came back and expected me to be there and pick right back up like they never left.

If we are friends, we are friends all the time. Friends are people that are there for one another.

If dating someone, work, school, family, other friends or personal crisis means that we don't speak for 2, 3 or 6 months, then my work philosophy kicks in...

"If we haven't used it in the last six months, we simply don't need whatever it is... Throw it away!"